classicbeatles

these are my buys for the day and time reads : 3.02am . I haven't touched up on my SOI neither have i brainstorm on the outcome or come out with visuals developments. I've been spending way too long online checking out f21 & wetseal :( the spending have been crazy for the past 2 weeks. I.seriously.need.to.stop.shopping. 

p.s the earrings are too cute to resist not to buy . heh. 

I'm on my feet now to every song that's on my playlist. I wanna put on my dancing shoes so badly. I feel like scooting off to butter one of these days w/ the girls and I know I probably can't make that happen till dec. :( 

I feel really awake tonight surprisingly.

I am super driven right now and I am not gonna take this for granted!
gonna slog myself off till later before my appointment w/ Joselyn. 
I am not gonna concede defeat. 

 So it's been pretty disheartening at sight and by heart. I let myself in for a breakdown yesterday with the doubt of my ability. It feels like I am a design student with no sense of creativity and I seriously doubt myself last night. It scares me how we're already entering into week 6 and there's no approval yet from Joselyn with regards to design issue. It scares me when I witnessed how - broke down today for good 15 minutes of disappearance and I could totally put myself in her shoes. 

Everyone's been chanting about design issues and how we're just not there (yet).

You know the feeling of detaching yourself from the world ? It scares me when I picture myself falling into depression someday due to stress and pressures. It scares me now because I really want it so badly yet I feel like I'm not gonna achieve that level of recognition in my grades. The feeling of reprimanding yourself for being so stupid, so useless and you-are-so-good-for-nothing really brought demoralisation right to my footstep. It felt worst when you track back and realised you sacrificed time for work > the things you like/want and even more depressing when I don't get to see the girls since I started school. 

Can you imagine that sense of dejection when you feel like you've wasted 5 weeks of sleepless nights, going through tonnes of readings + research and at the end of the day, you've to start from zero AGAIN. Reason being, it's either tt the issue is not an design issue/problem or it's not strong enough on it's own. 

I fear. I am such a weakling.

Nevermind me. I hate to sound so depressing and all I could do is stuffing myself every night with food. 

On a lighter note, I can't wait to attend Stef's ROM on 21st sept :) plus we're gonna celebrate Sa's 20th birthday w/ her favourite yummy carbonara ! Hope that would cheer her up a tiny weeny bit before we say hello week 7. 

I've been lugging a pile of books back and forth, make this worthwhile please. 
When week 7 ends, I wanna meet the girls, jane, berenice and all the ones that I've missed terribly much during project week even if it's just for awhile.

On a side note, I really want this !!! nicole richie's house of harlow 1960's sunburst necklace! it's so pretty ! 

I am gonna make sausages with japanese mayo in abit plus the seaweeds I can't stop munching at. 

xx

Just like that, we've reached the end of august and time flies. I am barely surviving without a night asking myself over and over again about design issue. The thing is i haven't got any pictures done except for those whiteboard scribbles and a4 papers with images and design theory on them. Life's been as mundane as it is, in black and white.

I won't say i'm dreading it as much now and the fact that i dragged my feets to school for every single class push me to greater heights of believing my ability. I want to do well and give the best to my last shot. Generally, it feels like i'm detached to the world and sadly, I haven't got time to do things that i've had and done during my hols but that is what hols is for right! I played hard and now, I ought to repay it back with diligence.

Probably what really made my day was the bag that i got myself at a steal yesterday :) it's so pretty in black and gold. i couldn't resist not parading in my room since I got home.

I wish that there are more than 24 hours a day, there's so much in my mind right now. I wish my agenda could fit tidying up the study's in a bit because it reminds me of a junkyard and I awfully dread the sight of it.

Also, I wish I'd a clue of my future and affirming my goals in life. I want to dream big and i hope to see myself contributing in a part of fashion + graphic design industries upon graduation. I have always wanted to leave my comfort zone for a brand new experience.

Apart from thoughts, I've had my favourite nissin cup noodles and I don't care if it's making me lose my hair although it does affects and upsets me plus my current liking : honey with milk yummms. I've been putting off work since Wednesday because I am really drained. Gonna catch some sleep now for a-wake-up-early-morning to fix up my sales post and work in abit. Next week is week 5 and i'm getting closer and closer to week 7 for submission.

God, I feel incompetent. This too must go.

yozza, i've been thinking for quite some time for a new space or if i should still stick to classicbeatles. School's been busy and I really mean busy ! I am utterly proud of myself for not skipping school for 3 weeks and didn't permit my laziness to sleep in plus i am punctual ! I miss Stef so much and I wish she furthered her studies :( So i've no class till next monday but the thought of monday-wednesday's class is suicide. it feels like the pile of work is never ending and i feel so drained out with a brain freeze everytime i try to tackle design issue. Hokay so more research to be done and finalisation. I badly need a fix for my nails and sustain a tiny weeny bit of happiness at the look of pretty colours. I miss the girls so badly and friends !!!!!!!! Famished and I am going to get the tummy fixed with some chilli crab flavoured yummy noodles, yaaayyza!

life's been good, hectic but totally fulfilling and i love my girlfriends tremendously much, so close to my heart that love is written in the stars across the universe :) Honours commence on 3rd Aug which means school is a serious issue, I bid freedom goodbye with a heart of gold because I am learning the virtue to save up for the things I want (hopefully) and future :) I am gonna bag my earnings as a virtue on 2nd aug @ Zouk's flea (!) See you all there  @ 2-8 pm :) teheheheheheh. Lj's been stale but I promise to revive it soon enough :) 

Oh and BB curve BB curve BB curve, hopefully Mom will get this for me !!!!!!!!!!!

 so the sister who just gave me a touch on my cheeks a couple of minutes ago is gone again. I saw her from the window looking up to the balcony from where she stands. I will miss the one who sleeps beside me and tries to scare/disturb me every single night. I will miss the one who I forgo all plans tonight because I just want to be here. I will miss the one who I stayed up till now just to make her breakfast before her friend fetch her to the airport and have the first and last breakfast within these 2 weeks stay in singapore because I've never wake up before noon time. Her failed attempts every morning to wake me up and she would end up falling asleep (again) or watching her videos before I actually decide to drag my steady feets off from bed. 

Yknw she's the strongest ever person I've met and because the family's burden weigh so heavy on her, I realised only two days ago that the strongest person has its own vulnerable times too. Her smile is the zest of the family and her cheerfulness is everything to keep the family together even as it's falling apart now with never ending internal conflicts.

She's the person closest to my heart,ever. 

You taught me love.